Conselhos Adequados...

Para os bombeiros involuntários deste mundo, que tenham decidido que já chega e querem pertencer a essa classe estranha (embora classificada como normal) que são os casados anónimos, a solução distribuída na sabedoria das crianças...
Embora, se realmente estão encalhados no nosso quartel, não há grande solução, pois não? hehehe...


HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?

You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.-- Alan, age 10 (true sports fan)

No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with.-- Kirsten, age 10

WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?

Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.-- Camille, age 10

No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married.-- Freddie, age 6.

HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?

You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
-- Derrick, age 8 (so true)

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?

Both don't want any more kids.-- Lori, age 8

WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?

Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.-- Lynnette, age 8 (isn't she a treasure)

On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.-- Martin, age 10

WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?

I'd run home and play dead. The next day! I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.-- Craig, age 9

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?

When they're rich.-- Pam, age 7

The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that.-- Curt, age 7

The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.-- Howard, age 8

IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?

It's better for girls to be single but not boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.-- Anita, age 9

HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?

There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there? -- Kelvin, age 8

And the #1 Favorite is....HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?

Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck.-- Ricky, age 10 (future diplomat)

...

Bem, já que o Cavaleiro das Trevas tá na ordem do dia...

http://youtube.com/watch?v=Hjp0I_okX0w

Deixo-vos o que um tal de r chamado Kevin Smith designou como o filme do com o melhor Batman já feito.....

.........let's put a smile on that face.

Conto de Natal

Este resumo não está disponível. Clique aqui para ver a mensagem.

a causa

Na margem do rio Paiva sentei e caguei.

Acho que a nossa geografia que nos dao na escola ta trocada...

Welcome to the Algarve
Located in the heart of Liverpool City Centre for over 16 years.


Encontrei isto enquanto deambulava pelas ruas de liverpool. Mas ao menos ja sei onde encontrar cafe decente, enquanto faco as vezes de embaixador...

http://www.algarverestaurant.co.uk/

I never said thank you

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4uSqbMGGFDI

Editors - The Racing Rats
Artist: Editors
Album: An End Has A Start
Year: 2007
Title: The Racing Rats

When the time comes
You're no longer here
Fall down to my knees
Begin my nightmare
Words spill from my drunken mouth
I just can't keep them all in
I keep up with the racing rats
And do my best to win

Slow down little one
You can't keep running away
You mustn't go outside yet
It's not your time to play
I push my hands up to the sky
Shade my eyes from the sun
As the dust settles around me
Suddenly nightime has begun

If a plane were to fall from the sky
How big a hole would it leave
In the surface of the earth

Let's pretend we never met
Let's pretend we're on our own
We live different lives
[The Racing Rats Lyrics on
http://www.lyricsmania.com/]
Until our covers blown

I push my hand up to the sky
Shade my eyes from the sun
As the dust settles around me
Suddenly nightime has begun

If a plane were to fall from the sky
How big a hole would it leave
In the surface of the earth
The surface of the earth

Come on now
You knew you were lost
But you carried on anyway
Oh come on now
You knew you had no time
But you let the day drift away

If a plane were to fall from the sky
How big a hole would it leave
If a plane were to fall from the sky
How big a hole would it make
In the surface of the earth
The surface of the earth

a letter to woody allen

Those were the days!....

Prai dos maiores nomes de videojogos de todos os tempos:
"Super Street Fighter 2: Special Champion Edition (24-bit)"

Pá, lembro-me do Pedro ter encomendado esta merda naquela loja na rua de santo antónio, das pessoas antipáticas, ao pé do salão de jogos (fdx, n me lembro do nome daquilo... e as duas lojas já fecharam!)

E lembro-me do dia em que ele recebeu o jogo: ficámos lá depois das aulas e fiquei pra jantar. Jogámos até às 21h e tal (buéeee taaarde, maaaaan!!!)

Saudades desses tempos. E saudades tuas, corno. Já deixavas aqui um comentário, nem que fosse isso!

this world is *blip*

como diria o luís: "dez anos".

questa merda meu??

Indivíduo apunhalado na Baixa de Faro

paneleiros, pá

casa de banho do Departamento de Engenharia Civil, no IST.

Nova força de segurança

O conselho de segurança interna da republica BIF apresenta a nova força de segurança que irá entrar em acção nas ruas da nossa amada Ossonoba.

fim de tarde na ria

Rir a bom rir

Aqui, aqui e aqui :)

Vou admirar pra sempre o Sampras (digam o que disserem os números, vai ser sempre... o número um), mas este Federer é realmente incrível.

Extra, extra, extra!

Passou-se isto assim e assim
“E isto e aquilo”

a aposta do Pascal

...If you believe God exists, the smart money says he’s backing the team with the best strategy and long term viability. Based on what I see today, I’m betting on Islam being the only religion in a thousand years. Once you can build your own nuke from stuff you buy online, don’t be betting on the Buddhists...

faz-me lembrar as conversas na praia (e noutros sítios).

Educação Americana

Apanhados da cabeça

Golaço

Há lá gajos com sorte...

campeões

não é preciso dizer mais nada, pois não?

Tristes Figuras

o meu amor é de moncarapacho

quirritante!

"Veloso Tem a primeira grande oportunidade devido à dificuldade em encontrar um jogador para essa posição, pois o Petit está castigado. Já se afirmou de forma promissora no Sporting e tem feito um belo trajecto nos Sub-21”, justificou Scolari.(...)"

o petit nunca mais põe lá os pés bruahah!

iProducts

Japoneses malucos

Human Tetris II


Pac-Man

Abram alas pro Noddy... (mas mais nada!!!)

Windows 98 Blue Screen of Death

Realmente, existe gente pra tudo...

Back in the day, it was skulls, snakes and Iron Maiden's undead mascot, Eddie. In the post-heavy-metal Internet era, to express your anguish, malaise, or traumatic childhood, you have to get a tattoo of the Blue Screen of Death on your arm...

dear architects, i am sick of your shit

Life is hard for me, please understand. Architects are an important part of my existence. They call me at eleven at night and say they just got off work, am I hungry? Listen, it is practically midnight. I ate hours ago. So long ago that, in fact, I am hungry again. So yes, I will go. Then I will go and there will be other architects talking about AutoCAD shortcuts and something about electric panels and can you believe that is all I did today, what a drag.

uma carta aberta aos arquitectos, por annie choi (que eu não sei quem é).

Tony Jaa - um granda maluk

Jogo Tetris Humano

Um jogo engraçado, vindo dos nossos amigos japoneses, quem mais?

cup winners

os despojos a quem os merece! qualquer diz mostro as estatísticas dos jogadores ao longo de uma época

Qualquer semelhança com a realidade é pura coincidência

i'm gay for veloso

Acho que ando a dizer bem dele desde a primeira vez que o vi jogar e que é o novo Paulo Sousa desde a segunda! (sim porque eu tenho visto jogos da selecção de 95/96 na RTP Memória).Só resta saber se vai tirar o lugar ao Petit já no próximo Euro. Depois o Moutinho tira o lugar ao Deco e aí é que vai ser a festa. Se o Nuno Gomes morrer entretanto, claro!

Egídio wants Alba with no T-strings

Aqui

Gorgeous ... Jessica Alba

FULL BIZARRE INDEX ›› STUNNING actress Jessica Alba says she is up for a one-night stand - as long as the man leaves the next morning. The curvy 23-year-old, who was recently romantically linked to Hollywood hunk Mark Wahlberg, likes the idea of getting intimate with lots of different people because she loves experimenting in sex. She told Cosmopolitan magazine: "I just wanted to see what it was like to be with different people. I don't think a girl's a slut if she enjoys sex. "I could have a one-night stand, and I'm the kind of girl who looks over in the morning and is like, 'Do you really have to be here?' I don't need to cuddle and do all that stuff because I know what it is and I don't try to make it more. "I feel like a lot of women try to make it into more, so they don't feel so bad about just wanting to have sex. I don't really have a problem with just wanting sex. Never have. "Even when I was a virgin and wanted to marry the first guy who I slept with, I never passed any judgments about that. But now I'm done with dating around."

comporte-se

algo para ir vendo - xkcd

audioporno

audiopornografia.com

venho aqui partilhar estas pérolas de um submundo para mim desconhecido.. aconselho vivamente a audição dos ficheiros postados a 20 de abril.

"Destaco principalmente a voz do seu interveniente masculino, um autêntico Ron Jeremy alentejano. E de facto é mais ou menos essa a imagem mental que tenho deste maravilhoso actor: baixo, gordo e com um farfalhudo bigode que junto com uma placa feita à medida de uma boca digna de uma Manuela Moura Guedes, que claramente lhe está larga, o impedem de ter dicção normal. Mas isso não é problema, só o torna ainda num macho mais português."

Dia D

Há 63 anos tiveram a ideia mais macabra para inspirar videojogos.

those where the days

queria chamar a atenção para os 3 atletas extraordinários ali atrás do Professor Rosa Nunes.

7-6(7), 5-7, 6-4 ,6-7(2), 7-5

dava um dedo do pé para ter visto este jogo, talvez dois dedos dos pés!




emprestado daqui.

top of the world!

Bifalhada em estocolmo, a 100 metros de altura, antes de ir dos 0 aos 120 km/h em 2 segundos.

this...is...SPAARTAAA!!